I think church staff members fall into two categories: those who attend “extra” church events in addition to ones for their job, and those who don’t.
People that I know in the first category attend services to worship as part of the congregation. It gives them a break from focusing on leading the service and lets them worship in a different way.
People that I know in the second category can’t believe the first category even exists. We church staff are already at church SO much. Why go more?
I used to be in the first category. (Seriously: I used to attend 3 or 4 events *each week* in addition to ones for my church staff position.) And while I’ve scaled back, I still occasionally attend evening services, and I usually go to church on vacation.
But Now It’s Starting to Feel Like Work
Lately though, I’ve been falling into the second category. The reason is that going to church is starting to feel like work for me – even when I’m not involved with leading anything. Simply being in a church building makes my brain think, “Time to work.”
Edited to clarify: My immediate and extended family attend several churches – just here in St. Louis I’m frequently at three different churches with my family, plus I sometimes attend evening services at even more churches.
The shift really came home to me recently when I was at a church’s midweek meal [edit: not at the church where I minister]. I have family who attend the church, and I was at the meal with them.
So it should have been family time.
But my brain immediately went into work mode, especially as I made small talk with a seemingly endless number of lovely strangers.
It was exhausting!
Even though I was literally sitting at a meal with my family, I still wondered, “Why am I working on a week night that I should be devoting to my family?”
What to Do?
If you’re happily in the second category, you might wonder what the problem is. But I’ve been in the first category for a long time, and I don’t want to leave it (at least right now).
So I’ve been pondering what’s going on.
Is there a way for me to go to a church meal with my family and *not* go into work mode? Or maybe, am I willing to go to spend time with family, even though it puts me into a work mindset?
I don’t have an answer here, and I feel like it’s going to take some time and thinking to figure out what’s going on – and to figure out what’s best for me long-term (and best for my family).
I’d love to hear your thoughts on my current situation. Plus I’m curious, do these categories resonate with your experience? Which one do you fit in, and are you happy there?
Image via.
Have you considered that you might be undergoing burnout?
Hi Jackie, yes, I bet that’s part of it. I think also though, it’s a shifting identity…I feel that I interact with people as a church professional, even when I’m at a church that I’m not connected with – it’s like I carry my professional identity with me.
I am praying through similar feelings. I am not on staff at the church but the children’s ministry staff position is open and I am doing a lot of parts of this and have for a long time. I go to church serve all morning and go home so it feels like another job. I do try at attend a Saturday service at another church often so I can also get spiritually fed a little bit. I feel guilt and disloyalty for going there but my church only had one worship service. Even if I am upstairs in worship I struggle to turn my brain off to actually worship and relax. It is a big struggle for me right now.